No one escapes the grip of stress. But are you making it your lifestyle?
There’s a “payoff” for any state of being that we maintain. If we didn’t get something out of it, we wouldn’t remain in that place.
We naturally buy into lies of every size shape and color. Advertising tells us that if we don’t have the newest and brightest, that we are less than worthy of the acceptance of others.
News media pumps highly specialized copy at us through multiple venues including TV News, advertising, social media, and billboards to get angry, or excited, or fearful, in order to take action and DO SOMETHING.
The desire to compete with others or to have what others have is intoxicating. Who wants a beat up old car, when one can have the newest car out there, which is not only amazingly beautiful but good for the environment and even drives itself to keep our family safe!
We don’t question, we do. Following the herd is a natural thing to do and being in a constant state of fight or flight is what others want us to remain in so that we’ll buy their products, take their drugs, make them feel more important, or accepted.
The truth is, we forget to ask better questions about why we do what we do, and failing to notice the outcomes can be deadly. The fact is if your end results are NOT what you had hoped they would be, then whatever you are doing is not working.
Why are you continuing to do what does not work? Perhaps because there is a payoff for doing it!
What’s a payoff?
A payoff makes what we are doing more palatable. For instance: Reading emails quickly and regularly makes us feel like we are doing our work, tending to customers and staying in touch with others consistently. However, if we never see those people that we are “staying in touch with”, or if we’re not able to pay our bills, is what we are doing really working?
Ask a better question!
By asking a better question, such as “WHY am I doing this so often? What am I getting out of it? We can begin to pinpoint what our payoff is. In the case of email, the payoff could be something as simple as, “It’s enjoyable!”, “It’s how I’m maintaining my relationships”.
What are your hidden motives?
However, if it’s a hollow victory, this payoff is nothing but counterfeit pay! Identifying your hidden motives for continuing in toxic behavior will help you to do things differently. If you seek healthy relationships, shut down your email and go where people are. Speak to them! Work with them. If you like tending to email and writing, then find a different job where there’s a greater payoff than just keeping you busy.
Lack of joy?
A lack of joy is the first red flag to notice in regards to whether you are living truthfully in regards to why you are doing what you are doing. Stress is always present where there is a lack of joy.
So, why are we driven to remain in a toxic environment or state of mind? Let’s look at five strong indicators that stress is ruling your life and not you.
- Parents lived in stress. If you weren’t DOING something, you were considered a slacker who didn’t care about the big picture.
- If you aren’t getting worked up over political issues and taking one side against the other – then you are not a good citizen and are leaving all the hard work and issues to others.
- If you aren’t living in fear, then you are living in denial and your “head is stuck in the sand”
- If you are happier than friends or family, then you must be doing something wrong.
THIS IS NORMAL
“This is how life is in this modern world.”
- You were raised in a stressful environment, work in a stressful environment and worship in a stressful environment. (Even when you want to play, you are stressed about getting there, parking there, and the fees you have to pay in order to play, camp, be entertained, etc.) This is just how life is nowadays. It’s normal.
- This is the only life you know
- Media, culture, and relationships with family and friends make living in stress and fear, politically correct. To go against the grain and to live a happy, peaceful life, is being irresponsible.
“My Dad was a victim of the system and so am I”
- If I remain incapacitated by stress, then I won’t have to make hard decisions. Someone else will make them for me.
- Why would I change? I get more help from being a victim, and more attention than if I were to be self-sufficient. Besides, it makes people feel good to help me.
“I have many roles to fulfill in order to do what is expected of me.”
- By helping others, you don’t have to look at your own life. It makes you feel better.
- You get to feel like you have a greater purpose in life.
- Lack of boundaries because “duty calls” lets people know that you have your priorities straight.
“If I don’t do it, who will?”
- You are known for being selfless and caring. What people see on the outside may not match what is truly going on in your life, but at least they know that you are sacrificial.
- If you are religious … isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Suffer? Especially when we suffer for others?
Are your payoffs worth the toll that they are taking on your family, your health and your peace of mind? Cancer and other stress-related illnesses are at an all-time high. Our nation is known for this around the world. People in other countries shake their head and wonder why we do not enjoy or prioritize life and living as they do. Where are your priorities?
Stop the madness!
Address your motives … and address your stress!
The first thing to do is to be intentional. Call us now to set your first appointment for a series of Life Vessel treatments to help you calm your mind and balance your autonomic nervous system.
Then CONTACT Gary or Sharon about other therapies that they will customize for you to take your life back and build a better future.