Creating a new normal

Create your new normal and healthier life by identifying and getting rid of negative thoughts and behaviors.

By addressing the negative energy and self-defeating thoughts that accompany that energy, you will be able to step into a new normal that is very different from what you have experienced in the past.

In her book, “Miss America by Day”, Marilyn VanDerbur describes an “ah ha” moment during a therapy session to help her recover from years of sexual abuse.

Her life after the constant abuse of her Father, left her in a state of fear and panic at anything that threatened her self-control or safe boundaries. Anything unexpected that occurred during her travels as she went about the country telling her story, could, as she described in one of her narratives, throw her into such a panic that the only way she could calm herself was to engage in extreme behaviors. For instance, on one of her trips, instead of staying at a hotel as she normally did, she was booked to stay in a private home.

Staying in a hotel was a setting that was more predictable than staying in a home, where an intruder would have easy access to her. With her fears mounting as the evening progressed, she found herself unable to sleep. Fearing that someone could come into her room drove her to pull the mattress off of her bed and drag it into the bathroom with her. She locked the door and pushed the mattress up against it to make sure that no one could enter if they wanted to.

During her group therapy session, she was paired up with a former abuser who had been recently released from jail and was in the process of rehabilitation by speaking to victims of abuse so that he would understand the impact on their lives that his own behaviors had caused.

The man described being out of jail and how unfamiliar living in the “real world” was to him. He was working at a discount store and whenever he would have a break or lunch, he’d go stand in the telephone booth and shut the door. The act of confining himself into a small space brought comfort in his new surroundings because being in a small, tight space had become familiar to him and made him feel “normal”.

Marilyn shares her moment of revelation in the telling her story of her own self-imprisonment, and that revelation was that in order for her to feel “normal”, she had to put herself in an emotional state that was familiar to her. That state, unfortunately, was intense fear and not feeling safe.

As crazy as it was, she did not “feel” safe until she felt unsafe! Feeling safe was feeling normal, and normal was a state of never feeling safe, so in order to feel normal, her thoughts would go into overdrive, as her mind spun tails of everything that could go wrong and never anything that would go right.

The mind responds to energy. In fact, the body and emotions are all states of energy which we respond to. Our “fight or flight” triggers are ingrained in our DNA and we are trained how to respond to those triggers from conception by our parents and the energy they bring into our lives.

In Marilyn’s case, her Father established an energy in their home of being the brutal “Lord” of the manor. A man who owned every person in his house and his employment. All were there to serve him and to be used by him.

This deeply ingrained conditioning followed Marilyn most of her life … even after her Father was dead. The energy he set in motion became her “normal” and her mind worked hard to create that for her while ruining her health and quality of life in every situation.

It wasn’t until she had the revelation of how she was sabotaging herself that she was able to intentionally create a different normal for her life. Taking it one day at a time, she had to consciously decide what the new “normal” would look like, feel like, and be. Then she had to change how she thought about each situation and take her moments one by one towards recovery.

Marilyn still travels the country telling her story of incest and sexual abuse to thousands each year. Each time she speaks, men and women of all ages will stand to identify themselves as survivors and to finally expose their challenges in living with their horrific experiences.*

What does this story have to do with Strategies for Healing?

As Marilyn has described in her book, there are many, many other individuals who are struggling day to day to live a normal life. Childhood sexual abuse survivors and others who have experienced other types of abuse have been “wired” mentally, emotionally and physically to be victims. Survivors often engage in unconscious self-sabotage and chose other abusers in their lives at work and at home in order to feel “normal” about themselves. Again, none of this is done consciously – this is unconscious, programmed behaviors.

Strategies for Healing helps individuals recover from trauma with several therapies designed specifically to address intense stress triggers in the body and in the mind.

The Life Vessel is a safe, FDA-approved medical device which utilizes the frequencies of sound through music, and infra-red light therapy to balance the autonomic nervous system. A session in the Life Vessel counteracts stressful energy while putting the body into a state of relaxation so that healing can begin.

Perception Reframing works with the mind and that endless, negative chatter that keeps trauma alive in the mind. With this therapy, the emotions behind trauma are addressed with sound frequencies that “rewire” the brain canceling out negative emotional responses so that clear decisions and actions can be made without the clutter of past experiences self-sabotaging those actions.

PEMF focuses on areas of the body which have sustained injury brought on by stress and injuries that are in the process of healing. This therapy increases blood flow and stimulates healing energy around compromised tissues stimulating a speedier, pain-free recovery.

Mind/Body Protocol therapy is a therapy where you address the stories and experiences of your life from an energetic response. Utilizing this method helps to uncover truths that would take years to reveal in traditional counseling settings. This safe, validating method of addressing negative behaviors and responses is invaluable when creating your new “normal”.

Contact us now to begin your customized healing strategies towards your own, new “normal”!

*You can read more about Marilyn VanDerbur on her website at Miss America by Day.

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